Morning all! Today is Friday the 13Th and I'm sure you are all as excited as I am about the mayhem and chaos that will befall all of us today. So if you happen to be out and about today here are a few tips to stay in one piece:
- Avoid all jugglers. Weather they juggle balls or swords, all jugglers are bad news on Friday the 13Th.
- Stay clear of construction sites. I'm sure you all have seen the classic cartoon with the baby that wonders into a construction site and goes about climbing things and riding in lifts and walking on steal beams while his protector (aka a cat) chases after him and getting seriously injured. Well that baby must have been a demigod because construction sites will mess up. They also contain the very dangerous ladder and will most likely be plagued by black cats and fragile mirrors.
- And finally steer clear of all abandoned summer camps. These are breeding grounds for crazy machete wielding, masked serial killers. If you ever have the misfortune of being in an abandoned summer camp, especially one with a lake, don't panic. Simply get a road and begin walking. hopefully the killer will be more attracted to your idiot friends hiding in the run down cabin screaming their heads off, and will leave you be. Remember serial killers love riddles so if you come face to face with one, just distract them with a tough riddle and make your escape. They also love Peeps.
I hope these survival tips help with your journeys today, folks. And now I'm off to fish for Nessie. Until next time...
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